Journeys into Memories Past
by Isica
Summary: After the events of JE, the Doctor and Donna must revisit some painful memories in order to stabilise the meta-crisis.


Journeys into Memories Past

Prologue

Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. Initial speech taken from Journey's End.

'_There's never been a human-Timelord metacrisis before. And you know why?'_

'_Because there can't be.'_

She looked resigned, accepting. Until she looked straight into his eyes and realised what he was about to do.

'I want to stay.'

'You can't.'

'I can and I will. Part Doctor, part Donna. I can think of ideas you wouldn't come up with in a million years, remember?'

She started shaking from the force of the energy in her head. The Doctor approached her arms outstretched, ready to deliver the final blow.

'Stop Doctor! A few more minutes. That's all I need.'

'You don't have a few more minutes.'

Donna backed away from him and closed her eyes. In her head she saw the vast network her mind had become. Tweaking the odd piece of DNA here and there, Donna started the process of repairing herself.

She felt a touch to her forehead and the Doctor's mind touching hers. Angrily she pushed him out, a mental force that sent him sprawling across the control room. Imploring the Tardis to help her and keep him away, Donna resumed her task.

The Doctor could only watch helplessly as Donna shook and convulsed with the energy needed to complete her task. Suddenly she opened her eyes wide, and then crumpled to the floor.

The Doctor, realising he was now able to move, ran over to her and knelt down by her unmoving body. He carefully felt for her pulse; it was beating feebly.

Still unwilling to let her burn, he brought his fingers to her forehead.

He was not needed. He was astonished. How had Donna, his clever little Donna, done this? As if on cue, Donna began to stir.

'Owwwww, I am never drinking tequila again,' she grimaced. Then, as the memory of what she had just done came back to her, she asked anxiously, 'Did it work?'

'Donna,' said the Doctor said. 'How did you do that? How have you stabilised the meta-crisis?' He was completely bewildered – an unusual state of affairs for him.

Donna beamed at him. 'I altered my DNA slightly to include aspects of Timelord DNA. This allows me to accommodate the extra knowledge I now possess. I also locked the memories away behind a mental wall which I can access only when I want to. I kept my memories forward and some useful information I might need. I might have a lengthened lifespan and better healing abilities. But the rest is locked away. I'm okay.'

The Doctor looked at her in amazement. Then he leapt forward to grasp her in a hug.

'That's brilliant!' he cried. 'You're amazing Donna!' They grinned at each other.

Donna stood up, swayed slightly and fell into the Doctor. Alarmed, he sprang forward to catch her.

'I'm okay!' Donna cried. 'I just need to sleep, cos all my energy is gone.'

The Doctor half supported, half carried Donna to her bedroom. The Tardis decided to help by rearranging the rooms so that Donna's room was the first door as they exited the control room. The Doctor lay Donna down on the bed. Her head was drooping now, clearly exhausted by the recent stresses on her body. He pulled the blanket over her and went back to the control room.

After programming the Tardis to rematerialise in the void, where they could relax and she could recharge, the Doctor left to seek his own bed as, although he didn't sleep much, he too was worn out.

Midway through his own healing sleep, the Doctor was woken up by the Tardis alerting him. He sat up and heard screaming coming from the room next door, which happened to be Donna's that night.

The Doctor bolted into Donna's room and was greeted with the sight of her crying and screaming and thrashing about on the bed.

The Doctor rushed over to her bed and carefully shook her 'Donna, Donna, wake up!' he cried.

Donna shot upright, eyes wide open and screamed, 'Romana!' before falling back down onto the bed. She then resumed her tossing and turning, and the Doctor could occasionally make out the odd word in Gallifreyan.

He paused for a moment to marvel at hearing his language being spoken by someone else before moving his hands to her forehead and initiating a link.

In comparison to earlier, all he could feel was a mess. A cosmic jumble of thought with half of his memories in between. He felt himself burn as nine regenerations' worth of energy coursed through him.

The shock caused him to jerk his hands away which startled Donna back to consciousness. She awoke gasping, covered in sweat and with the universe dancing in her head. Immediately, she locked the memories away behind the strongest mental walls she now possessed. Now calmer, she looked at the Doctor. They were both panting lightly, as a result of the mental efforts they had been through. The Doctor was looking at her with an expression that she recognised from his – their – memories. It was mild panic.

'This isn't good,' he said.

'No kidding,' she replied. 'I think I can control it during the day, when I'm awake. But when I'm asleep...'

'We have a problem,' he finished.

'What are we going to do? I can't stay awake forever. I'm still more Donna than Doctor. The human body has to sleep at least once in a ten day period.' At his look she said, 'Most of the facts I keep uppermost are about the human body. It is useful to me as you never know when it might come in handy.'

'Give me some time to think and maybe I'll come up with something,' the Doctor automatically replied.

'Let me help,' Donna asked.

'You need rest,' the Doctor said. He didn't want her to get worse.

'I can't sleep and my brain may have the solution yours doesn't. I have to help Doctor, it's my mind.'

Reluctantly he yielded and together they went to the library. He and Donna read the books in High Gallifreyan together to try and stabilise the battle in Donna's brain.

After a while the Doctor sat back. 'I can't find anything,' he admitted. 'When you are asleep, it's like the memories battle for recognition. They can't accept that they are in the minority of your personality.'

'That's it!' Donna cried, making the Doctor jump. 'Memory-recognition initiated through a two-way guided telepathic link!'

The Doctor stared at her. Finally he found his voice. 'Are you insane? That's never been attempted before on a human. And certainly not ever for a meta-crisis!'

Donna remained unperturbed. 'As you know Doctor, I'm not just human anymore. Part of my Timelord DNA includes telepathic ability. As for the second part, what else do you suggest?' Her eyes were fiery now, and the Doctor was pretty sure she was ready to slap him. Donna continued, 'The memory-recognition will guide me through the memories, help me acknowledge them, then I can file them away. They'll still be there, but afterwards I can process them slowly and without the intensity of last night. Will you help me Doctor?'

Her eyes pleaded with him and the Doctor felt his hearts sink. He knew he couldn't deny her.

'All right, he said eventually. 'But first we need to prepare ourselves. Go have a shower, change out of your clothes into something comfortable and meet me back here in an hour.'

Donna nodded and left the room. An hour later she and the Doctor returned. They decided to decamp to a room with a large bed in it for maximum comfort and calm.

Donna settled herself on the centre of the bed and turned to face the Doctor. He arranged himself opposite her and they looked at each other.

'Well,' he began, 'Are you ready?'

'As ready as I'll ever be,' Donna replied.

He put his hands to her forehead and she did the same to him.

'On three,' he said. 'One, two,' he hesitated, 'three.'

They snapped open the link. The Tardis convulsed. The Doctor and Donna screamed in unison and their world went black.


End file.
